Watching two of your best friends break up with each other can be harder than experiencing your own breakup. When you break up with someone, you can put all the blame on your ex to make yourself feel good. You can even completely cut off from the person. However, if two of your close friends start dating and break up, it can put you in a tight spot. Use your chat messenger app to try and console both sides separately. NEEO Messenger is a chatting app that gives users a crystal clear calling facility to ensure a smooth conversation.
Even when you are overtly friends with two people, you know in your heart that you’re closer to one of them. There could be several reasons for this unspoken loyalty. Perhaps one of them is your childhood friend, or maybe one of them has gone more out of her way for you than the other. But even then, if the two friends break up, it’s never easy to decide whose side you’re on. The tips given below can help you through the tricky situation and help you come to a rational decision:
Assess the situation objectively:
It is natural for you to feel sorry for the person who was dumped, but you should analyze the situation rationally. What was the reason, or reasons, behind the breakup? If your female friend cheated on your male friend and got caught, the reason is pretty clear. You might feel the urge to side with your female friend if you’ve known her for longer, but you should be fair. Give her an objective opinion and tell her that you would have done the same if your partner cheated on you. If she understands this, she won’t expect you to cut off from the other friend for her sake.
Listen to both sides sympathetically:
Even if you know exactly whose fault it was, lend a listening ear to both sides. You don’t have to agree with what they’re saying, but be there for your friends. You might have discouraged your friends from getting into a relationship in the first place. But don’t grind your ax by telling them, ‘I told you so’, if they break up. Just hear them out via your chatting app and let them believe their pain is real without giving any reality checks.
Refuse to play messenger:
You probably want your friends to stay together because you don’t want to pick sides after a breakup. However, if you meddle, even with the best of intentions, you’ll only make your life more complicated. You can try your best to help them resolve petty conflicts while they’re still together. But once they break up you should stop playing mediator. A breakup is no joke and they should understand that. Let them know clearly that you’re not going to play mediator and if there’s something left to be said they should do it themselves.
Control the urge to gossip:
Your friends will likely talk trash about each other after they’ve broken up. If the hurt is genuine, the most you can do is hear them out but don’t encourage the trash-talk by joining them. Don’t indulge in scandalous gossip against one friend just to please the other one. If you genuinely feel like one person did the other wrong and is being very cool about it, you can cut off from this person.
Don’t suggest any new dates:
Watching your friend crying her eyes out day and night can get quite exhausting, but you need to be patient. Don’t push her into a relationship with someone else because that will be a rebound relationship. Give her time to heal and get over her ex. Send her soothing messages using your chat messenger app and help her stay strong.
Make new friends:
As hard as you try, there will be times when you’re stuck in a compromised situation. If, for instance, one of your friends invites you to a party, the friend who got dumped might resent you for going. You’ll end up declining invitations to several occasions. And if you accept the initiation, you’ll keep feeling guilty. The situation might get too stressful to handle. In such circumstances you should make new friends so that your social life doesn’t suffer.
Don’t date the same person:
Often when there is one good-looking guy in the group, you can’t help but think of him as a candidate for a romantic relationship. However, if your friend gets into a relationship with him, tick him off your list of options. Even if they break up, it’s a bad idea to date the same person your friend dated. Keep him in the friend zone if you want to stay connected. If this guy dumped your female friend, she won’t forgive you for dating him after their breakup.
You don’t have to play mediator, counselor, or mother when your best friends break up with each other. Try to stay as neutral as possible, especially if you know they were both at fault. It’s no use pointing out their mistakes once the deed has been done. If you notice one of your friends has taken the blow too hard, she might need therapy. Use your chat messenger app to look for professional help. Sometimes playing psychologist and giving advice, even with the best of intentions, can backfire. NEEO Messenger is a chatting app with a range of stickers and emojis that you can use to cheer up your loved ones.